The way you make my make up run.

Finding a way out.

2011-12-19T05:05:00.000-08:00

It has been a week since sem break, and things doesn't goes any smoother compare to previous.

Someday, somehow, I wish you come across my blog and realizes how are you actually inside my heart. Or I should say, every since we meet, it's an pain in ass. It's like a love forced to hold on to each others while there's actually empty inside.

Maybe you are thinking that I can't live without you, in fact, things goes the other way round when downpours kept on happening previously. I seriously, don't think I need you in my life and it would be much more happier if you can just let me go and accept the fact that I don't need you anymore.

Yes, you might be thinking there I'm one hell of the cruel bitch ever, but look, ask yourself, what did you ever done in this love other than betraying serval time and all the unsecured feelings surrounded with you?

At this very moment, seriously, I think reader that read my blog for my previous old post knowing that, I don't need love. I meant, hey what's wrong with being single? I enjoy the moment of being single. I rather be a loner then to be loved or a lover. There's to much feelings to care and too much feelings to carry and respond, even to self. Too much of burden. Yes, love is a burden.

Peoples might think I've changed. Yes, I admit I've changed. But, why do I have to care what others think about me while I think I've changed into the right way, the way I should go, the way I should have put my effort on? Love, is not the thing right now, and also for the coming couple of years.

I've been pushed to the max limit where I can actually tolerate everything.Sorry that I have to brag so much of it on here. But there's the only one place where I can pour out everything. I'm fine, I'm seriously fine just that I need a place for me to write every tiny little thing out I felt about my own life.

Just another 2 more weeks for holidays, I don't want to have a stressful holidays, I don't want to waste the month of December just like that. I need something fun! Any plan out there my pals?

Cross fingers, the next post it won't be about the burden love anymore.

I need to earn as much as I can in this month and so I can pay off all the debt to him and so we can cut the connection off and so I can have a peacefull life and live happily ever after. Amen.

Sem Break

2011-12-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

Hello bloggie. Final exam is finally over, sem break is finally here.

This sem break seems to be quite compare to last sem break. Almost all of them are back to hometown or they got their own plan on. As for me, I will be going Singapore for a short break. Most probably one - two week time. Time to meet old pals up!

And lately, I had an argue with him again. Tiny usual argue that makes me fed up and the main thing happens between us is we're totally lack of communication. Hence, we don't seems to really want to solve the problem out nor I should say, we can't solve the problem out ever since the day we started.

I think I should stop whining about all this relationship stuff. But heck, I can't. It seems too many problems happens lately. Not only me, but also friends around me. I don't really like to be pull inside people's relationship, but some people's just can't accept the fact of, over is over.

Actually, where's there left to pull back while there's no love in between the relationship? Why don't you just let it go and life could be easier for both? Well, I'm not trying to put in any comment, I'm not a successful in love, but what I'm trying to say is, just let it go when there's no love. Think wider.

Ever since things had ever happens, I tended to be pull away my love for him. There's no why, or maybe some say not fair towards him, but who can actually understand what I felt deep inside when I walk thru all the shyte all by myself which I had to forgive and forget of everything he did wrong and I have to even force myself of forgiving him which I can't and barely even do so. Gosh, god must be thinking I'm strong enough to go thru all this which I can't.

Can life just go a little brighter?

Back to blogging

2011-12-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

Like finally, I'm back with blogging. I've realized that only if I'm in the stage of study only I will blog. Because other than that, there's nothing else better to blog. Just like my ordinary work life for the previous year, my own blog had been aboden by me. And now, I've finally decided not to blog at my own blog as in no longer paying for it but using blogspot in case I've lost my interest of blogging again.

So what has been up this couple of years? I've no idea other than just work.

Just a little short updates, I've placed myself into my dream college, The One Academy after so many years of busy hunting money out there. And things are not as prefect as thought when life is in college. No doubt, I get to meet a couple of good friends. But the course work are killing me deeply inside. Especially drawing and figure, I'm not drawing person and there goes I've been thinking am I really belongs to art or not? Had been questioning myself in this couple of months. After all, I'm still struggling, I'm still fighting over all this till I get to place myself into Multimedia. Which is, another half a year to fight for. And it's a really tough road for me to walk thru, but I'm glad that friends are there for. But after all, friends comes and goes. I'm not pretty sure what happened in between but I would like to apologize if some of you can't take my straight forward attitude and of what I've did make you felt hard feelings. For those who stay, I'm glad. For those who left, I'm glad to had you once and wishing you all the best.

Too much of a big bunch in our groups, with different attitude and behaver. No doubt there's argue in between, but what I though of is, just be straight forward each other are always the best other than just hide and run away. Because that's not exactly what's friends stand for. We should correct them if they are walking to the wrong path. I'm not pretty sure what the others thinks, but seriously, drama never gets away even if you're out of high school. It's just like another drama chapter begun.

With no doubt, I would really thanks the one and only person that always come clear and clean to me, Sook Wen. Thanks you for speaking the wrong side to me and correct me when I'm on the wrong path. Thanks you for being here with me all the time.

About relationship, there's nothing much to talk about. I realized that, maybe, just maybe, I love myself more than anything else in this world. I've come across and think of my previous relationship and current relationship, just maybe that, I don't tend to understand them or just maybe they don't tend to understand or maybe I should say no world in this world understand me enough yet.

Second chances are given out more than enough and time proves that second chances it's not a good choices after all. No matter how many times you forgive, forget, walk back, stay and walk away again, and back turning on the same spot, I guess not only me got tired of relationship like this. Most of the human does.

It's strange isn't it? When you're all alone, you're afraid of the sound of lonely. But when you're in love, you got frustrated of the way of the other half cares, control and also that's what we called LOVE. Human never get enough for being enough. Including myself.

Just maybe, the LOVE he gave is more than enough and let me can't breath over head. And therefore, it's better to leave alone and gaps some fresh air.

I'm sorry if I'm acting like a kids to you. I'm sorry if you think I'm not mature enough for you. I'm sorry for not being what you wanted me to be. But, I'm sorry to say that if I continue loving and acting the way you wanted me to be, I felt sorry to my very ownself. Go ahead saying that I'm selfish, I admit I am. Everyone's is selfish, just they don't dare to admit like how I do. Question yourself.

I spend not more than 1 hours reading back all my old post in this blog, and I realized that I was much more a joyful person before everything clash. Even if drama had been happening during the age of high school and uncountable breaking heart and so on. I'm still a tough and joyful person compare to now. I've no idea what's goes wrong. All I know is, it's not good. I need time to find myself back. The passion, the love, the beat, basically everything. Who am I now, it's like a robot. Human without a soul.

And to you, just maybe 0.01 chances if you come across this old blog of mine, I would like to say, why are you being a crowed after so many years, just maybe we can work things out like a friends or so but not only comes upon when there's advantage. I've seriously no idea why every deep love need to be change into stranger. That's a real waste.

I guess this will be rated as the longer post ever after coming back from blogging. Dooze off. Will update again, when I thought of something fresh.

swtich

2007-09-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

DAH CHANGE KE WWW.MISSMUFFYX.COM

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Nine

2007-08-31T05:45:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Nine

" Mari kita seluruh warganegara ramai-ramai menyambut Hari Merdeka, Merdeka !! "

Last night was crazy fun. I was at The Curve. Even though Natt got wasted and we need more then 3 hunk to carry her into my dad's car. Traffic was so freaking jam. I still had fun. Had dinner at Kim Gary with Kath & Natt.

Roasted Honey Spare Ribs with Shanghai Style Vegetable Rice.

"Fu Yong" Egg with Rice.

Champagne Grape Tri-Colour Blended.

Cheese Baked Rice with Chicken Chop.

Around 9 something meet up with Kai-Loon. Bumped into Kah Ken's gang & Kok How's gang. I kena spray like mad by Kok How's gang. /GG.

All because of you la, Calvin. GEEZ.

Kathleen Tang Zi Hui.

yongkailoon. S2

Chilled at the curbside. Had some fresh made candy floss. Kathleen Tang Zi Hui, I do whine over small things like glow sticks & candy floss ! I do and I really do ! In the end, Kath got me candy floss and Kai-Loon got me glow sticks ! They sayang me banyak banyak kay !

Candy floss baby !

So pwetty right?

I went all the way in front to the stage just for Fish Leong ! The crowd went crazy when she went up to the stage. So damn freaking hard to get into the front. Even though I can get into the front, I can't manage to take pictures. Because, I'm short. But yea, thank god I had my super tall boyfriend beside of me. He's tall enough to help me take pictures of her !

MERDEKA !! * PEEEEEPPPP BOOOM *

Fireworks were awesome !

Kath dan Natt, I'll put sleeping pills inside the water and let you both drink. So that I can sleep. ROFL !

I had an awesome time last night :)

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Eight

2007-08-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Eight

I wish it was sunny outside and not rainy and oh so cold. That would make me be in a better mood. What I'm feeling right now. Is not capable to be put into words. So I'm not going to bother with trying other then to say I'm sorry. You know who you are and thanks to someone else. Well, people hate me when I haven't done anything, I'm just the one it leads back to when it's dealing with other people. Like I'm the culprit or something? I don't get what people see in me and what they don't see. I don't care what you think of me, because it can't be half as bad as what I think of you

Sure my happiness doesn't last long. Theres always someone there to ruin it. I wish I knew certain things. It would make life so much easier and then I don't like other people getting in my business. Whether they know it or not.

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together

Hmm anyways I'm off to be NERD and study like a mofo now.

PS: This layout is boring me.. it's like, too pink?

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Seven

2007-08-25T23:29:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Seven

Well, how time just passes by ! Before we know it things are going to change, in blink of an eye, it could mean something completely unexpected can happen. But I guess living in the moment is a good settler for now. AT LEAST FOR ME !

On Wednesday I went out with Ivy, Kath & Natt. Watched Rush Hours 3. ~~Second time d la tiao!~~ Had dinner at Sushi King. We walked around and shit. We spent most of the time in Topshop finding ~~girl boxers~~ !

I hate those people think it's okay to say or do whaver they want to you, but if you did it to them in return they'd flip. I won't deal with people like that anymore, maybe we can be friends when you stop indirectly insulting me and aren't full of yourself.

~~Miss.W, I blog whatever I suka la kay ! Fuck you (:~~

Its a Sunday. A sunny Sunday and I'm just blaring the radio and cleaning. I hate being grounded. Grr.

Ahhh, I got comments on my previous entry. I feel loved.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Six

2007-08-21T03:37:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Six

Happy Birthday Sue Ping !!

Well, we celebrated Sue Ping's birthday on Friday at The Curve. Waited for 1 hours plus just to get in The ~~damn~~ Apartment for dinner. Not many people ended up going though. Kath ended up going ! So nice seeing that nigga ! We waited more then 20 minutes just to get the damn order. We were all really hungry and angry. I got really depressed. So screwed.

The food at The Apartment wasn't to say very nice. What more it's damn expensive. Their pasta sucks. Too much olive oil. I recommend you peeps try out their Chicken in Bag. It was not bad LA.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Five.

2007-08-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Five.

Ah, I've had Take It From Here - Justin Timberlake on repeat for two days straight. Sigh, even though it makes me sad cos it makes me think of ***, I can't help it. I have a strange addiction to depressing slowjams.

I was looking at photos from last year and stuff, and I realised how different everything is. Attitudes have changed, situations have changed, people have changed.. everything's just so different. I kinda wish things were like they were back in the day - no responsibilities, no distance, no problems. But then again, I don't want to take away the freedom and trust I've gained from the parentals. I'm actually loving my relationship with them lately. Watever, we're friends now :)

A few photos saddened me particularly. I just don't feel as close to my (former?) closest friends as I used to. It's probably all my fault though, my mood swings are real bad and I just can't be fucked with their attitudes sometimes and probably vice versa. It's nothing personal, just my monthly friend turns me into an angry little bitch. I doubt their relationship with each other has changed.. just mine with both of them I think. You're bound to drift from people you were close to.

I really think I should try and get over it. I've been holding onto something that's nothing for so long. It's taken up too much of my energy and brain space. Too bad all my slowjams remind me of ***. Sigh. I think even if I think I'm over ***, *** it always be in the back of my head? Ah, what the opposite sex does to us.

Ew. Stop being emo.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Four

2007-08-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Four

So. A lot of stuff has been going on, and I don't even know what's going on, or even how to say it. My friends- are okay. I feel like I miss out all the time, and I know why. I'm not going to waste my time typing about all the things that are on my mind right now. Life's too short. I'm just going to embrace this while I can. I love my life and that's the way it should be.

We laugh until we cry into each others shoulders. we make idiots out of ourselves in movie theaters. we throw food at each other. we track dirt over each others floors. we go running barefoot in the pouring rain. we bitch at each other all the time. but thats okay. this is what best friends are about.

Natt Lim

2007-08-12T02:35:00.000-07:00

Natt Lim & Alex Lai.

Natt Lim. I love this girl to death. Let me tell you something, you will never meet anyone as amazing as her. Again, she is a friend that been through so much, you couldn't imagine. I could tell this girl anything. We have so many memories. I swear I could talk forever about things me and this girl have done. We done funny things, crazy things, bad things, life changing experiences even, and let me tell you something, I wouldn't trade even one second that I have spent with that girl for a bajillion dollars. I'm so lucky to have even known her, and I love her so much !

Alex Lai. Now this boy, I don't know in person, but have known for 8 months now. He has been there for me through thick and thin. He can make me laugh and he loves Amanda Liu more than me ! He's just amazing. I can't even explain. You have to meet him. Just, I'm so unlucky to know him. LOL !

One utama 的 Starceleb roadshow.

2007-08-10T02:56:00.000-07:00

One utama 的 Starceleb roadshow.

我想大家大概都给我吓倒了吧！Starceleb roadshow 部落格比赛就将在八月十二日结束。现在才，没办法，学校的功课多得一箩箩，废话不多说就让我解释当天的情况给大家听吧！

在七月二十八号的星期六早上，我去了在 One Uama 的 Starceleb roadshow。 StarCeleb 是一个由 Daniel Tan 和 May Wan 主持的一个风趣又好玩的节目有经验于主持类似的节目必定让您满意。

我虽然久久都未到，但却没有错过他们那精彩的现场舞蹈秀。参赛者被指定跳国际舞蹈。举办单位真有心机。这回，举办单位真的把参赛者考倒了。虽说如此，要不是这样又如何看到参赛者的正功夫呢？参赛者也当然没有辜负我们的期望，尽了全力把最好的带给大家。我本人觉得他们的现场国际舞蹈秀蛮不错的。另外，参赛者还在商场里到处拉票呢！

这比赛总共有六十人，想投给你的致爱？就用以下的方式投吧！

每当你投上您手中神圣的一票给你喜欢的参赛着，您就有机会得到由Mystyle 送出的礼券。Mystyle 能让节省更多因为 Mystyle 都会把一些折扣礼券等直接发送到您的手提电话去。除此以外, Mystyle 也和不同地方的有名公司结盟来提供我们生活的必用品. 预知详情, 请浏览Mystyle的官方网站。

对于我本人的想法，参加这一项的比赛不但可以增加自信心，也能提升自我！

Hara Kumiko

2007-08-09T15:34:00.000-07:00

Hara Kumiko

Vote for my Harajuku Doll ! Type GS12778 and send to 28700 !

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Three

2007-08-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Three

This weekends been pretty fun so far...

Well...Lets start with Friday night since i haven't updated in a while...Sonia and I went to Peekaboo to get my haircut. My hair rocks la tiao ! I loved it ! Had dinner at Kim Gary.

Monday I went to Natt's house. We baked cheese cake ! It was so much fun ! Thank you Ah Ping !

Thats all for today. I'll blog about my Alor Star trip soon !

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Two

2007-07-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Two

Saturday. Was suppose to go watch movie with Natt. Kena ffk by Natt. Grr. I watched The Simpsons Movie alone. I completely got owned like a noob. I know.

Spider-Pig ! Spider-Pig ! Does whatever Spider-pig does ! Can he swing from the web? No he cant. he's a pig !

Sunday. I stayed at home the whole fucking day. Eat. Sleep. Shit. Sigh.

School was so lame. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

I never realized how boring it was at my house. Honestly, there's nothing to do here. I'm bored outta mind.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-One

2007-07-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-One

Woo ! I have a job interview today at 10am. My job interview is in like 5 minutes, and I'm scared shitless. But anyways, it went as smooth as possible. It was perfect. I love the people that work there, it is completely a really great job for me. Even though they all seem really stoned. But still, they weren't and it went so well. So yea, I'm gonna work for WCG. Visit me at Midvally on the 7th,8th and 9th of September !

Hey miss thunder thighs, why do you look so down? You're misery is my bliss. Hey miss thunder thighs, why do you look so pale? was your soul, your life was blackened and choked out of you? Hey miss thunder thighs, when will you learn that your "so-called" bad attitude is just making you look bad? Shrinks are for lunatics, tragics, and neurotics. You're all that in one honey.

Well.. I have nothing better to do with my life right now. So on Tuesday Kath, Ivy, Justin, kwok hsien and I went to A&W for lunch. We are just super cool like that.

Thats all for today. I'll blog again when I actually have something to say.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty

2007-07-22T03:35:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty

Friday. I went to Ivy's house with Kath, Jun and Siew Mun to her BBQ party thing. Before the BBQ party. Kath, Natt, Ivy and I went to Ou to buy food. Had lunch at Italiannis. Around 8pm, went back to Ivy house. It was funny cause people were all high and we were being loser and wouldn't light up the fire. After like half an hours later, we finally get to light up the fire. We couldn't finish up the food. So we decided to play some games. I left there at 10.30pm. It was so much fun !

On the Saturday morning. I went to Interact installation. It's no fun without Tracy Chee there. Kath came home with me after Interact installation and then we went to Ou to meet up Natt and Ping. Had lunch at BBQ Plaza. We couldn't stop laughing. I don't know why it was so funny. We were just laughing the hole time in BBQ Plaza. It was the best day I had in month or so.

Why are guys so stupid? I know that has been asked a million times but I'm still wondering.

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Nine

2007-07-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Nine

Today was... Cool? I don't know. I didn't go to school. I slept all fucking day. Like I would wake up for an hour and chill then sleep and wake up and sleep. And I finally got up for good at like 4 or something like that. I was too tired to do anything. Retarded Natt, now you know why am I sleeping all day! Around 6, I went to Pasar Malam with Kai-Loon. Ate asam laksa!

I remember what it feels like to have everything broken in a matter of minutes. I didn't think anyone who knew my past would be capable of doing it to me again. I didn't think anyone who had been through the same thing would be capable of doing it to someone else.

Ughh! I need to go see Happy Potter And The Order Of the Phoenix. I don't even know why I want to see it. Most of you say it sucks hell loads right? True kah? So sorry Ivy Chung, plans for yesterday didn't work out. It's just really hard for me to get out on a school day ! Tuition banyak banyak laa!!

Comments please! (:

现在我只想回到最初的时候

2007-07-17T05:41:00.000-07:00

When you're gone, living your own life, making new memories and meting new people. I hope you remember me : All the times we spent together, the laughs we shared and the moments of sheer passion. I hope in your new life, you never forget me.

她说: "现在我只想回到最初的时候."

Kath Tang Tze Hui.

2007-07-15T02:17:00.000-07:00

Kathleen Tang Zi Hui !

This summer.. I've been more new people whom I adore. There's Kathleen Tang Zi Hui, who can be so random. We are around each other too much. We want to rip each others heads off. She have always been there when I needed the most help and comfort. She have always loved me like she would to herself. We have the best time together. Without her, life at school would be so much more of a pain.. just like a black abyss but she would always come along and make my day !

Kiki.

2007-07-15T01:06:00.000-07:00

Kiki ! <3 !

My beating heart wants you and my empty arms need you

2007-07-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

My beating heart wants you and my empty arms need you

Why do you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you. Why must you make me laugh so much, it's bad enough we get along so well. Does she love you like I can? Maybe it wasn't good enough, but I gave you all I could. Would she stay up late if you can't sleep? Cause I would. I saw him today, the only guy I want but can't have. I like him so much it just kills me to look at him so much to know that he doesn't even for a second think of me as more than a friend. Your words say "friendship" but my eyes scream so much more. If I looked you in the eyes would you tell me the truth? Do you want me, or is this just some game? Cause I can handle feeling hat aren't mutual but I can't handle you letting me down.

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Eight

2007-07-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Eight

Saturday. I went to the mall with Kai-Loon. Was supposed to watch Transformers. But, then fucking tickets are fucking sold out. Grrr. We went to SOHO for lunch and walked around there for a while. Around 6, went to The Curve for Son's birthday party !

Happy Sweet Sixteen SONIA WONG !

Son's birthday party ! It was so much fun ! We stopped at Sanctuary for dinner and I had fun gossiping ! Then we went to Laundry. Freaked out. I hate the manager. For some reasons, we went all the way up to Sanctuary again and they forced us to buy Hennesy. Yea I know, very the wtf. But yea, it was a lot of fun though.

Daniel's Lee <> CD promotion activities !

2007-07-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

Daniel's Lee <<Unavoidable>> CD promotion activities !

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Seven

2007-07-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Seven

I love when meaningless people try to ruin my life by spreading rumors. I'm not a bad influence. I do have some issues but who on earth doesn't. It's human to have issues, and be upset, and cry. If you don't feel that, your not human. I love when other people think they know you better then you know yourself. Do us all a favor and shut the fuck up. I don't really wanna go back to school. I feel detatched. And I just need to get over the fact that I don't mean anything to some of you. I guess I just pretty much lost it with everything going on. I mean, I shouldn't have, but it just happened.

Boys are so stupid. I am sure everyone agrees. I get so scurred when I see that he has responded to my message.. so I will put off reading it for a few minutes. I am telling myself to take a break from him for now. Until I see him again.. not as a one-on-one thing. Thanks to him, cause I realization that I've only had the joy feeling once, and not have a care in the world.

I write such stupid entries in here sometime. I think it's because I know barely no one read this.. and of the people that do read it.. aren't that close to me. It's all good.

I am a horrible person. Turra`

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Six

2007-07-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Six

Everything has finally fell apart. I knew that happiness wouldent last. Oh well, I guess I'll move on and just deal with it. It was such a weird weekend, I don't even understand what the fuck happened. I regret some things cause I felt like I was finally strong now, and I went and did something dumb and made me think maybe, just maybe there was going to be a second chance, that was fucked up on my part.

Went to Ou on Sunday for Daniel's Lee 《Unavoidable》CD promotion activities with Li Peng. I'm not a fan of him just that Danny was there so yea. Was suppose to watch Transformers but the queue was so long and we give up. But, I'm going to watch on this Saturday !! Had dinner at Charms Cafe. Food was good ! Is a must for you to try out their Thai fried rice ! Super duper nice ! Ask them for extra home made chili !

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Five

2007-06-30T05:16:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Five

I feel so dead. Everything seems messed up. I hate days like these. I feel so empty.. like nothing I say or do even really matters anymore. I'm just tossed to the side.. used for stupid things. I want something solid again, like I used to have. Like a single best friend that I know for a fact I can trust with everything and anything. Or even be in a relationship instead of being " friends with benefits" with guys. I'm sick of losing friends over stupid shit, and thinking I have really great, trustworthy, honest friend just to soon find out otherwise. Fuck this, fuck you.

You were too oblivious to know what was going on. You didn't realize that we was falling apart. Neither of us could talk to. You were too caught up in your own world or something. I have this boy who makes me really happy and he say I make him happy too. But now, fuck it.

I think is time for me to blog in Chinese. Should I? Anyways, listen to 逆光 by 孫燕姿.

成为主持人或模特儿的好机会！

2007-06-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

成为主持人或模特儿的好机会！

好消息！好消息！您想成为一位主持人吗？或是一位名模与代言人呢？"封星榜" 为你计划了一项精彩热烈的活动。这项节目将会由两位艺人主持，他们就是美女 May Wan 和帅哥 Daniel Tan。年龄只需满18岁之30岁的男女即可参赛。

报名日期将于 7月14日至7月29日或于10月6日至10月21日。报名方式很简单,只需上网报名即可参加。游戏里的活动抱括有选拔过程，巡回表演，部落格，杂志摄影，总决赛以及一连串的精彩游戏。比赛地点将在 Parkroyal hotel，level 2 catleya rooms，Jalan Sultan Ismail，Kuala Lumpur 进行。

这是一个非常激烈于精彩的真人秀节目。参赛必需会以英文和华语与观众和评判沟通。若参赛者已其他公司签了约就没有机会参赛。参赛者必需解决各人的交通问题以及其它种种问题。

选拔日期落在6月23日至6月24日或6月30日至7月1日。赢得参赛的朋友将获取50,000马币位胜出的参赛者各赢取25,000马币和一年的节目主持人或模特儿和约。

心动不如行动！"封星榜" 是一个史无前例的比赛。对于这项节目有兴趣的朋友勇敢前往报名参加吧！预知详情请浏览 www.starceleb.tv.

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Four

2007-06-26T04:13:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Four

Lately everything is going wrong. I feel like there is no one that I can trust. Not one person that I can completely confide in. I'm always scared when I tell people things that they wont keep their mouths shut and believe it or not, thats usually what happens. I have too many things on my mind, it's hard to juggle it all.

I guess I'm arrogant, selfish, and self-centered. And I'm a completely different person, and I can't be talked to. But if anything its you who has changed, you ignore me you make me feel like I can't tell you anything anymore. Its like you couldn't give two shits about anything I have to say, like I don't matter and it makes me feel like such shit. What do you want from me? What are you expecting from me? But whatever, everythings always my fault anyways. Not that you care or anything. This is sad, really fucking sad. But ! Guess what? Nothings going to change.

Sigh.

On the Saturday. I went out to Cheong-K with Liyana. Rm60+. With a set lunch. Super duper expensive. Food was bad. Really bad. Redbox is better. We had dinner at Pizza Hurt.

Cheer 2007 was so much fun. I didn't think it would be, but it turned out pretty fucking intense. Cheerlading team Dynamitez is champ again !

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Three

2007-06-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Three

I knew I wouldn't have much to talk about in this update. Sorry, but I don't think this is going to be long.

I thought it would solve all my problems, it didn't. Did I really think getting trashed would solve everything? Obviously. Or I wouldn't have done it. I'm such an assfuck, it's not even funny. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I didn't. But I did. And I can't take that back. I wish I could. But thank god for a friend who'll talk to me on the phone all along.

I hate school. I hate people. I hate this. Why does everything have to be so complicated. I was fine one seconds then the next I wasn't. It makes no sense to me. I'm in over my head. So on the 18th of June. I'm out for some school trip again. We went to UCSI college. It's boring. Really boring. I'm going for the Youth Abstinence Walk on the 26th of June. Wish me luck ya !

I'm going to go to bed now. Turra `

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Two

2007-06-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Two

My birthday was pretty good. I don't remember exactly what I did that day. But I know I celebrated my birthday with Weiyeen & Kai Loon. Which was so funny, I had alot of fun.

Wei Yeen took me out to lunch at Secret Recipe. That was really nice, I haven't been there in forever and sadly I dint get my favorite Tiramisu cake so yea I ordered this Chocolate Chip Walnut. I'm so gonna try out the Shepherd's pie next time. It taste so good! I enjoyed myself very much. I don't think I could be any happier.

I went to Ou with Kai Loon for dinner. We bought a bottle of Absolut Citron and had our dinner at Sushigroove. I think Sushigroove is way way better then Sushi King. We laughed and talked like we always do. It was way cute. Even though I'm tired I still enjoyed myself.

Okay well, I'm going to find something more productive to do than sit in front of my computer and waste my life ! Turrra `

It's been too long of being with, to now suddenly be without.

2007-06-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

It's been too long of being with, to now suddenly be without.

I try not to think about what might have been, cause that was then and we have taken different roads. We can't go back again, there's no use giving in and there's no way to know what might have been. There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade; and now thats it's like it wasn't there at all.

I'll stay strong, I'll go on.

2007-06-16T03:32:00.000-07:00

I'll stay strong, I'll go on.

I don't wait by the phone like I used to. I don't hope for kind words you might say. You don't prey on my mind like you used to. But you can still ruin my day. I can't help it, I couldn't stop it if I tried. The same old heartbeat fills the emptiness I have inside and I've heard that you can't fight love. So I won't complain. Why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on ? Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it, and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you. But in reality I slowly losing my mind, underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly, cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering. So I wear my disguise until I go home at night, and I turn down all the lights, and then I break down and cry and as I stand here looking at you, I wonder if there will ever be a day when I get over your smile, when I will let go of the hugs you gave me that I continue to feel. A day when I forget the words you said to me, forget what you meant to me, or forget how much I love you.

Listen to Everytime I close my eyes by Babyface.

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-One

2007-06-15T19:16:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-One

14th of June was so fun. I went to The Curve with all my bitches. The long lost bananas was there too ! Thanks you peeps for coming to my birthday party ! I mean, Siew Mun and I punya ! We had dinner at Italiannis ! 5 bowl of pasta yo ! Calvin, you still owe me a bottle of Absolut Vodka ! Kath tang & gang, thanks for the T-shirt ! You peeps always make me laugh so hard, and it gets my in the best mood for the rest of my day!

I had a realization. I don't regret what happened between us. Don't act like I'm the only one who's fake. I tried my best for you cause I was willing. I guess we're both the one to blame.

Birthday !

2007-06-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!<333333

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty

2007-06-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty

Things have been pretty hectic. I've been job-hunting like crazy. I never have enough time for the things I want to do, and when I do have the time, I'm not allowed. Just like all my birthday party. I have to seperate all my friends to certain group so that it won't screw up. And I hope you guys can really understand me. I've no choice that I have to put some of the outing during school days. I already tired my best to cancel almost all my tuition for this week.

I got mostly all of my results already. I did bad I guess? Ohlalala. I beat Osla for Accounts. Buahaha. So proud of myself !

I hang out with Gordan and Alex today. We went to Ou for lunch. We had lunch at Yippee Cup. Alex Lai, thanks for your birthday present. You peeps will never wanna know what he gave me.

Hope you all have an amazing day!

You're the only thing my heart understands.

2007-06-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

You're the only thing my heart understands.

I don't know who you are you're not who you used to be. I remember when you used to look at me differently, now you don't talk to me, boy you can't even see. I miss who you really are. I can't see how you've gone this far. But there is just no hope for us. Well, it's more than a shame that we lost to this game. All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing nothing will ever be the same. I used to hold you like it's all that I had. Now begins the falling out we are like a passing fad. Illusion of what I thought was love. Now I have clear sight to see I've left nothing behind. Know what to say but don't know where to begin. A fear of losing you beneath my skin. Please don't grow up without me. Hold my hand and look me in the eye. Fall asleep with me just one more time. Tell me that we'll always be best friends and make this feeling last until I see you again. But if I'm without you, then I will feel so small. And if you have to go, well always know that, you shine brighter than anyone does. The last time I saw you, you turned away. I couldn't hear with your voice ringing in my ears. Do you remember where we used to sleep at night? I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away.

Listen to Die of a Broken Heart by Carolynn Dawn Johnson

I pee in the sink- Part Nineteen

2007-06-11T05:04:00.000-07:00

Edited//

I pee in the sink- Part Nineteen

I haven't been able to sleep for the past 2 weeks. I've tried, warm milk, an allergy pill that normally knocks me out. So, I decided to do spa. Hopefully it works. Wish me luck ah !

So on the 9th of June. I was out to The Curve with Yapghee, Sylvia and Li Wen. We had our dinner at Laundry Bar !

Birthday wishlist

2007-06-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Birthday wishlist !!

So you guys will stop asking me what I want. I'm going to say anything. Haha ! Anyways, for those you who MUST get me a gift...

1.) Red Guess? Hand bag
2.) A bottle of JD.
3.) Black jersey from topshop.
4.) SE K810i
5) A Guess? watch.

Yay & days! <3

I pee in the sink- Part Eighteen

2007-06-08T04:58:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Eighteen

Yesterday was fun, spent my time with yongkailoon. We went down to KLCC, Sungai Wang & Dataran Merdeka . Fu-yoh ! The weather super duper hawt. So yea, we had a big cup of ice-cream from New Zealand Natural.

This is the first time I went down to Dataran Merdeka and KLCC. Yea yea yea, laugh all you want. I know I'm like a bloody moron. Grr.

We had lunch in this restaurant called Wizard World. They have this 4D haunted house there and yea I went in. Not scary at all. For me la. Cause I'm brave. B-R-A-V-E. Food was okays. Not to say super duper nice. Just normal.

I pee in the sink- Part Seventeen

2007-06-07T06:12:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Seventeen

Hello mello peeps ! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I bet you peeps miss me !

It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself, and stop taking things for granted and even taking him for granted or acting like he means nothing to me. He means so much to me, and so far is the only one that I can tell everything to.

I'm sick of hearing people complain, when they don't listen to me. I love how they think they know how I'll act if they tell me something, but they don't. I bet a could tell them a dozen things, that could catch everyone off guard.

I fucking hate you. Be original and get your own life, stop taking mine. Srsly, you have no idea how annoying you are. I don't like you. I love my life and I'll never stop smiling. So yea, you can fuck off right now.

Anyways, you peeps can always leave a comments on my post but yea I'm not gonna reply anymore. I just don't know why. So don't ask me why !

Lastly, my birthday is on the next Friday ! Present yo !!

Geez, I've had way too much sugar.

2007-06-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

I’m saving a story .

I pee in the sink- Part Sixteen

2007-06-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Sixteen

Testing 123 .. Testing 123..

Hello mello fellow listeners ! Welcome to High.FM. Me, Lee teNg is the dj of the day !

So yesterday, I was out to The Curve for Tracy's last farewell party. It was great. Tracy, Peng , Jeremy and I chilled at Starbucks while waiting for Shing Chye and Kath. We had our tea-time at The Sanctuary. Jeremy started feeling queezy after his one-shot ( according to Kath ). This prove that he can't take alcohol at all. After that, head off to Marche. We had our dinner there. I love that potato !! Super duper yummy ! I'm so gonna eat at that place again !

Tracy Chee ah Tracy Chee. This is for you.

Cold and comfortable just like the streets that I won't trade anything. It's here and now, and won't be forever. Here's to friends who will be there till the end. Everything I have in this world and all that I'll ever be, it could all fall down around me just as long as I have you right here by me. Everytime I fell in love you warned me. You'd dry my tears away. I'm thankful to have you with me by my side each and everyday.

I miss you, Tracy Chee.

Thanks you for choosing High.FM. Have a nice day !

I pee in the sink- Part Fifteen

2007-06-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Fifteen

I'm sure you're gone by now, and I'm sure I'm sick. Maybe you'll never read this. Is anyone out there? I lost my key in. This is a lose/lose situation. Here's the biggest trophy for leaving me, I hope you know you're not the only one. I've got accustomed to losing. And I'm used to the pain. I'm tired of writing to no one, this just doesn't feel the same.

Tantalizing lies, they mock; they scream; they shout. I've got the vocabulary of a five-year old, but I'm cleaning you out. It's time to live out your words, I'm tired of emptiness. Stop chasing shadows and diving deeper into some anonymous complexity. I'm on my knees, now. You've got me begging for you. Just give me something to hold onto because I'm never letting go again.

I'm not sure what I'm writing about or what I'm trying to say; my fingers tingle from the lack of use. Tell me you still love me and you still care. Tell me I'm the same person I was yesterday.

I pee in the sink- Part Fourteen

2007-06-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Fourteen

I feel sick, I took my vitamin. my mom says I need my vitamins that I cut out from my diet. Whatever, I am very bored.

I had a killer headache and I had a big scoop of ice-cream ! That made me feel better. Although I still have a headache.

I feel like banging my head against a wall..good childhood memories! You have to know me to understand. Hey maybe thats why when I hit my head it doesn't hurt that much. Unless its like a lot of pressure. Then I have a headache. But, I can hit my head on the desk with no pain at all!

It was freaky because Just-THIN spammed at my c-box.

Hmm.. Do you peeps miss those lovely quotes from my ex blog? It seems like I haven't been updating them for like gazillion years. Since I don't know what to blog about today anymore I'll come up this lovely quotes.

Enjoy yo !

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone. Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me. I thought you should know, you're not making this easy and now my days are short and my nights are long. I lay down with memories of you to keep me going on. It makes me wonder as I sit and stare, will i see your face again. Tell me, do you care? I wish you could see how much you mean to me, how much your smile lights up my world, and how much your touch makes me shiver. I'll never understand why you kept your feelings for me a secret almost one whole year. If you didn't maybe we would had a chance. I could sit here and write about how much I despise you until my hand went numb, but it would do no good. I know at the end of the day, I still love you more than anything. You tell me to move on, to find someone 'better'. What you don't realize is that I don't want anyone else. There's no one else better from me than you. I want you, and only you, for the rest of my life.

Tell me: what am I supposed to do? When I count my thoughts, they're mostly you.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirteen

2007-05-31T00:57:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Thirteen

I watched the Butterfly Effect last night..it was really a good movie..I didn't really like the ending but you know thats the way the marble rolls..maybe because it was Ashton...

I am so bored its not even funny..well I guess it could be funny but it would be boring seeing another person be bored but yeah..I have a headache!!

So on the 29th of May. I went out with Tracy, Kath & Ivy. We went to Jack's Place to had our lunch. After that, we went to Zara for Tracy's skirt. Tracy managed to get her skirt. I bet she's really happy now.

Around 4PM, I took cab back to SS2 cause yongkailoon is waiting for me at Kayu yo.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. No worries kay? We're going to shisha this Saturday !

Would you be my best friend? Could we talk on the phone just about nothings? I need someone to hear my secrets. Will you laugh with me? Just talk to me, make me feel alive! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being a bitch. I'm sorry for always ignoring you.

Days feel longer when your face is the first thing I see when I close my eyes. We're spinning in and out of control like all the merry-go-rounds we used to love; but it's not so fun anymore. Your insults are only words when you break down every phrase and I wish that one day words wouldn't make me cry.

I'm going out to Ou later to get my Baskin Robbins ice-cream ! Yippppeee !

I highly doubt anyone actually reads my blog and if they do they must have feedback-phobia.

I pee in the sink- Part Twelve

2007-05-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Twelve

The first day of holiday ! Lardedum !

It's starts with an F, followed by a U and ends with an N ! FUN !

I went to Ou with yongkailoon today. We took the Rapid KL bus to Ou. Damn cool weii ! This is my second time taking bus to a mall ! Thank god, this is better then the Sunway. I don't have to stand there and wait for gazillion years just for the bus to come. The bus come kinda fast today.

So we went to this restaurant, is it called Sushi King and the food was really good. I can't eat seafood. Grr. How sad is that? The seafood monster attacked me after i ate 3 crabstick.

I'm not feeling well after eating at Sushi King. I barely can breath, really. So we decided to go home. It got worst when I went home. I took a panodol and some pill for flue and I knocked out soon after. Felt better right now.

Have you ever fet between friends? You know, the place where you're not sure who you want to win or lose. And the worst part, they'll forever be in war. Both have their pros and cons, and I just don't know who has more pros. First I feel completely sickened by one of them, then suddenly the table turns and I can't even think of the other.

The truth: I don't think I can't stand either of them.

I pee in the sink- Part Eleven(ii)

2007-05-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Eleven(ii)

I'm gonna continued with my Sunway Lagoon part.

I guess is sort of waste going Sunway Lagoon on that day. The dry park is mostly all close for service. So yea, we dint really get to play anything there. And I paid 10 bucks from that so called 3D thingy. Not worth it at all.

We had our dinner at Bar B Q Plaza ! Food from there is nice ! Is a must for you people to try out ! Jeremy was being such a lame joker there ! I laughed so much in really hurt. There was one part I had deficulty breathing.

After dinner, we went for the so called bus stop to wait for bus. Omfg, traffic there was jam packed ( according to Kath ). We waited the bus to come for like an hours plus. This is why I don't really go to Sunway area.

FYI : Sunway area is full with ham sap lou.

I pee in the sink- Part Eleven(i)

2007-05-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Eleven(i)

So I spent the 25th of May with a bunch of friends. We went to Sunway Lagoon for Tracy's farewell party. It was good.

Overall I had a great Friday. It was so good speanding time with them.

Let the pictures do the talking.

To be continued..

I pee in the sink- Part Ten

2007-05-24T02:08:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Ten

The emo monster stole my soul. I've just been feeling so completely alone lately. I mean, I just look around sometimes and see everyone with their friends and I just can't help but look at myself sitting all alone. They all call me a loser, idiot, weirdo, and anything other insult you can think of. But I declare my defeat. I'm a bitch. A total bitch and it's no wonder I find myself more alone each day I keep living.

I want a boy that makes me smile and laughs at me just so when I frown he can make my face stretch into the biggest smile this world's ever seen. I want a cliche love story that'll sweep me off my feet. I want a boy that actually, for once, feels the same. I want a boy that's not dating a prettier, smarter, nicer girl and not my friend. I want a boy that will understand this simple complexity that's me. I want a boy that stands out in the rain with me and watches a chick flick marathon when we're down with the flu the next day. I want wanted him.

I cried today, I just let it out. This pressure's making my chest cave in. I want to be everything everyone has ever wanted. But I'm not, am I? I'm so tired of trying my hardest and meeting the cold floor head first. I'm so tired of falling in and out. I'm so tired of life. I'm so sick of everything. Just let me fade into oblivion where beauty is hideous and the poised trip and fall. Don't make me walk out that door faking a smile that says "I'm okay." Oh, because I'm not. I'm not even close. What happened to the shoulder I once leaned on? Oh, has it ever been there?

I've got nothing else to say to you. Except that, "you've let me down so many times and I'll always love you to the ends of the universe." I'm so done with this.

Have you ever felt like you mean absolutely nothing to your friends? Like the only reason they talk to you is because they're supposed to since they're your friends. But it shouldn't be a duty to talk or be friends with someone, should it?

But why is it I feel like I'm just the back-up listener, if anything to them at all? It's like if they need help, they come to me because I'm the one who will actually care.

I thought best friends meant "I'll be here for you, always." I guess it's more like, pretend best friends means "I'll say I'm here, but you weren't ever worth shit to me." Is that just the unsaid, obvious definition when someone says, "you're my best friend"? What happened to the fine line between best friends and friends? What happened to recognizing when someone if just a friend, not a best friend? Maybe it's just the expectation that anyone you talk to thinks of you as their "best friend" that has shielded the ability to differ the two. This has everyone trying to keep there friends and therefore pretending to be a best friend by saying what they think they should say. I guess I am at fault for this too. Faking a smile for their face and saying I will always agree.

They say words can only hurt you if you let them, but I'm not strong. And I won't say I am. I can't just turn my head and ignore every time she started a mock-fest about me. It's stings. No, it doesn't just sting. It hurts like a fucking bitch.

Maybe it's good she lies to me and badly pretends to be my best friend, but why do I have to continue to act like an actual best friend?! Where did all the truly nice people go? Why do they always turn out hating me? Am I that horrible?

She says, "你总能平复我不安的夜晚."
He says, "没有谁能取代你在我心上."

I pee in the sink- Part Nine

2007-05-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Nine

I am currently stuck into this song. The kill by 30 seconds to mars.

Being on this site again, brings so much back. Stuff I've kind of locked away. It was bad. Really fucking bad. But I was so good at it. Sometimes I catch myself walking in my old footsteps. Its habit. Its physical. I hate to admit it, but I've missed it.

Everything was so sharp and vibrant. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still strong enough.

I want to forgive certain people, who I'm bitter toward. I want to impress people.

I'm in the mood to write. Pages and pages and pages. I'm crying and I don't know why. I'd do anything and thats what scares me so bad. I don't wanna live my life alone, I don't wanna go back to what I had and I don't wanna spend my life without you.

Gosh. This uneasy feelings needs to go away. Its an overdose of emotional termoil. I want to sleep, for a long long time, and wake up to my subconcious having had figured everything out.

I pee in the sink- Part Eight

2007-05-22T06:03:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Eight

Theres this girl. Who I believe wholeheartedly, to be my guardian angel.

She understands me, like nobody else ever has and makes me laugh harder than anyone ever will.

Shes one friend that I can turn to about everything. Faith, love, just anything life decides to throw to me.

She's held my hand throught out really hard times, and shes never left my side when I decide I want to do something really stupid.

Shes right there with me, when I decide to give someone the chance to break me and she helps me pick up all the pieces afterward.

Her advise is advise I wouldn't trade for anything. I love the way she tells me how it is, no matter how I'll hate it and I love the way she can put what I'm feeling, into words.

I envy you your ability to understand, your spirituality, and how genuine your hardships have made you. Mine have only made me defensive and underneath it all, more afraid of the world, but I know you'll be there holding my hand the entire time I'm afraid.

I love you, Loh Wei Yeen.

I pee in the sink- Part Seven

2007-05-21T02:46:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Seven

Hi fellow readers.

I just finished watching Hanazakarino Kimitachihe. I love that show. Freaking awesome! For more information, CLICK HERE.

I didn't go to school today. Don't ask why though. Exam is over, so yea.

I wrote her a note. It explained everything. Everything I was feeling, everything I had been feeling. I told her what I didn't like and how she wasn't changing and probably never would. And then I told her that I felt our friendship was more bad than good, and I said I didn't want to be friends anymore. But hell yea, I throw the damn note away.

I see that she really hasn't changed. Not at all. I see that she was just getting better at being BAD. And she was getting better at making people think she was/is better and changing. I'm disappointed in her but I'm really disappointed in myself. I though people deserve second chances and I though that maybe she did change, and hat maybe I was just holding a grudge. But now I feel stupid. Stupid for not seeing that she will never change. Stupid for not realizing that she never plans on changing.

I wish I could tee her all of this, but I know that she would probably just hate us if I did. Thought it has to be said sometime..

I pee in the sink- Part Six

2007-05-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Six

For those who read yesterday post , please ignore all my moody harsh words.

Yesterday was fun. I went to Curve and Ou with yongkailoon. Had lunch at Robert Harris Cafe and watched Spider-man 3 at Cineleisure. It was all worth it cause it was just awesome and some part was just hilarious ! Everyone in the cinema couldn't stop laughing.

Anyways, today was rather er, I can't find the right word for it. Everything feels so blah. Everything looks so blah. I feel blah. And I feel as though something is wrong with a certain person though I won't name names. I'm just wondering.. how do they feel about me? It's so strange talking to them. It's so strange seeing the things that they say. I wonder how the person feel about me though..

I feel sorta sad because I can't write. I can't ever write anything good. No stories. No quotes. They all suck and even if you say that they are good, are you just trying to be nice? Because I think they honestly suck. Some are okay but non are what I want them to be and it sucks because I really do like writing. Stories, quotes, anything. I love to write but nothing ever comes out as good as I think it will. It always comes out stupid or whatever. It makes me kinda sad, considering it's like everyone around me writes amazingly well.

I am getting horrible sleep. I keep waking up a few times a night. And after that I have trouble getting back to sleep. Not to mention that when I wake up.. my arms all hurt. I'm thinking about taking sleeping pills again. But hell yea, weren't addictive. I just know that I need sleep.

Somehow, life never quite works out like the ideal we envision.

I pee in the sink- Part Five

2007-05-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Five

Hello fuckers.

I'm sorry. I'm not in a mood right now.

Football is way way important yo. (:.

Tralalala.

I pee in the sink- Part Four

2007-05-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Four

Finally, someone told me the barefact truth last night. It was shocking to hear someone else say it but I guess they're right when the say the truth really hurts. It's like every time I try to better myself or someone else. I always get hurt. I know the truth. And even though it doesn't make much of a difference. I know who's being real. I've had this song on repeat for the past 30 minutes. It's Not Over-Daughtry. It's like my life all wrapped up into one song. ' I try to see the good in life but good things in life are hard to find..'

Stress is too much. I hate it how it takes over my life and how there is nothing I can do about it. Maybe I can relax. Maybe. But yea, I know that I can't. It's like when I think about that girl. I get this overwhelming feeling. Kind of like a bottle of soda. You shake it and the bubbles are all built up and stat squeezing out the top, or else the bottle would explode.

Drama, isn't something I need in my life. I desire it in any way, shape or form. I live my life. The way I want to. I don't make decisions based on how someone else is going to react. I've got plenty of things to deal with, without your nonsense.

I feel lazy. I feel like I'm frozen or stuck in slow motion or something. Why? Because kawan baik saya dah datang. Exam is over. MERDEKA. Yea, shut my fucking mouth up. I got my English paper two back. Fuck you, Encik Mail. I did shit for my English paper two. Tsk tsk tsk. So my oh so depressing mood is gone right after recess. Cik Lee is not that bad actually. I kinda like her right now. LMAO !

I love my life. Life's not bad and I've got reasons to smile.

I'm going out tomorrow. So gonna watch SPIDER-MAN 3. Tar-dah !

I pee in the sink- Part Three

2007-05-17T03:32:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Three

Message to the fuckers: Why must you blog when you don't even know how to blog. Be more mature can? I don't have a problem if you can't blog. But puhlease, be back yourself. Thank you. I dont need a twins sister. I dont need anyones who talks like me and acts like me and everything like me. It's my blog. It's where I pour my feelings, where I can tell almost everything. So please, don't steal my blog away from me.

School was dramatic. Too much of that. Hating's not the game. But there's just so much I hate about her. So yea today, she started off that topic again. How much more can I take this shit men. I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I have idiots as friends. If you hate me, tell it to my face. Call me a sentivite bitch for all I care.

I haven't done anything productive today. All I did after school was eat, sleep, online and blog. I intended to study but didn't in the end. I have Maths One & PJK paper tomorrow. I know I should be sitting my ass down and start studying. But hell yea. It doesn't matter that I did revision for my Maths. I will still screw that paper up no matter what. I got my Sejarah paper one back today. 23/40. Jumps for joy ! FYI: I DID NOT COPY ANSWERS !

My eyes are red. I've been rubbing them, cause their both itchy.

I'm out of words. As you can see that shit ruined my days.

Can't wait to go out on Saturday !

Lastly, Happy Belated Birthday Gordan !!

I pee in the sink- Part Two

2007-05-16T02:41:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part Two

I've had an extremely shitty day.

I haven't wrote a quotes in a long time. For I have no reason to and when I did write quotes, they were useless. They weren't anything I really related to. They were fake feelings made by a fake situations. Therefor I want to burn them all.

FYI: I had no problem being your friend. I had no problem talking to you. But if you're going to be a bitch like you're being, then forger everything. You're turning into something it really shouldn't be. I thought you were my friend and now I feel like a dumbass. I guess we seriously need a talk. But for some reasons. I don't want to seem annoying or stupid. Then why don't I realize it? Why do I still feel so stupid being so bad about it? Why do I still care what the hell you thinks? Because I AM stupid.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I want this summer to be just like last summer. I want some commitment to someone. I want someone to tell me how they feel towards me. And I lost what I had. Somehow in my own way, I lost everything.

So yes today, we had some Hari Guru celebration early in the morning. I guess our school need a bigger hall or maybe an air-conditioned hall. I barely can breathe.

Almost done with exam yo. Three more to go. Bm paper one was not that bad actually. Banjir Kilat is pretty easy but still I won't hang my hopes high.

FYI: My blog is so damn cooooool. Just like the Sunset.

I pee in the sink- Part One

2007-05-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

I pee in the sink- Part One

I can't stand it. GEEZ. Today I decided I'm sick of the whole being nice for politeness thing. It's stupid and fake and if you don't like someone they have the right to know, not to hear that you've been trashing them behind their back to others kids.

Friends who try to hook up with their friend's friend not cool. Especially when they ditch said friend for that friend of their friend. Get it?

I'm a sober now for these months. The whole fucking day something has been annoying the hell out of me. I don't know if its the hair in my face or the feel of my skin. But today, of all days, I am annoyed out of my fucking mind. Possibly its the lack of sleep I've gotten, or how many physical things I've been doing finalls caught up to me. It's like everything it entirely not perfect. I think I'm having a small panic attack. I screwed up my ekon. Grr. I read the whole fucking notes and yet I screwed up. Not because that I don't fucking know how to do or what shit. I don't have the fucking time to finish it.

Grr.I think I'm mad at myself for everything.

Fresh start !

2007-05-15T00:40:00.001-07:00

woahh. so I made a new blog after not having one for a while.

Peace out kids.

The way you make my make up run.

Finding a way out.

Sem Break

Back to blogging

swtich

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Nine

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Eight

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Seven

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Six

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Five.

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Four

Natt Lim

One utama 的 Starceleb roadshow.

Hara Kumiko

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Three

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-Two

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty-One

I pee in the sink- Part Thirty

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Nine

现在我只想回到最初的时候

Kath Tang Tze Hui.

Kiki.

My beating heart wants you and my empty arms need you

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Eight

Daniel's Lee <> CD promotion activities !

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Seven

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Six

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Five

成为主持人或模特儿的好机会 ！

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Four

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Three

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-Two

It's been too long of being with, to now suddenly be without.

I'll stay strong, I'll go on.

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty-One

Birthday !

I pee in the sink- Part Twenty

You're the only thing my heart understands.

I pee in the sink- Part Nineteen

Birthday wishlist

I pee in the sink- Part Eighteen

I pee in the sink- Part Seventeen

I pee in the sink- Part Sixteen

I pee in the sink- Part Fifteen

I pee in the sink- Part Fourteen

I pee in the sink- Part Thirteen

I pee in the sink- Part Twelve

I pee in the sink- Part Eleven(ii)

I pee in the sink- Part Eleven(i)

I pee in the sink- Part Ten

I pee in the sink- Part Nine

I pee in the sink- Part Eight

I pee in the sink- Part Seven

I pee in the sink- Part Six

I pee in the sink- Part Five

I pee in the sink- Part Four

I pee in the sink- Part Three

I pee in the sink- Part Two

I pee in the sink- Part One

Fresh start !

成为主持人或模特儿的好机会！