Finding a way out.

It has been a week since sem break, and things doesn't goes any smoother compare to previous.

Someday, somehow, I wish you come across my blog and realizes how are you actually inside my heart. Or I should say, every since we meet, it's an pain in ass. It's like a love forced to hold on to each others while there's actually empty inside.

Maybe you are thinking that I can't live without you, in fact, things goes the other way round when downpours kept on happening previously. I seriously, don't think I need you in my life and it would be much more happier if you can just let me go and accept the fact that I don't need you anymore.

Yes, you might be thinking there I'm one hell of the cruel bitch ever, but look, ask yourself, what did you ever done in this love other than betraying serval time and all the unsecured feelings surrounded with you?

At this very moment, seriously, I think reader that read my blog for my previous old post knowing that, I don't need love. I meant, hey what's wrong with being single? I enjoy the moment of being single. I rather be a loner then to be loved or a lover. There's to much feelings to care and too much feelings to carry and respond, even to self. Too much of burden. Yes, love is a burden.

Peoples might think I've changed. Yes, I admit I've changed. But, why do I have to care what others think about me while I think I've changed into the right way, the way I should go, the way I should have put my effort on? Love, is not the thing right now, and also for the coming couple of years.

I've been pushed to the max limit where I can actually tolerate everything.Sorry that I have to brag so much of it on here. But there's the only one place where I can pour out everything. I'm fine, I'm seriously fine just that I need a place for me to write every tiny little thing out I felt about my own life.


Just another 2 more weeks for holidays, I don't want to have a stressful holidays, I don't want to waste the month of December just like that. I need something fun! Any plan out there my pals?

Cross fingers, the next post it won't be about the burden love anymore.

I need to earn as much as I can in this month and so I can pay off all the debt to him and so we can cut the connection off and so I can have a peacefull life and live happily ever after. Amen.

Sem Break

Hello bloggie. Final exam is finally over, sem break is finally here.

This sem break seems to be quite compare to last sem break. Almost all of them are back to hometown or they got their own plan on. As for me, I will be going Singapore for a short break. Most probably one - two week time. Time to meet old pals up!

And lately, I had an argue with him again. Tiny usual argue that makes me fed up and the main thing happens between us is we're totally lack of communication. Hence, we don't seems to really want to solve the problem out nor I should say, we can't solve the problem out ever since the day we started.

I think I should stop whining about all this relationship stuff. But heck, I can't. It seems too many problems happens lately. Not only me, but also friends around me. I don't really like to be pull inside people's relationship, but some people's just can't accept the fact of, over is over.

Actually, where's there left to pull back while there's no love in between the relationship? Why don't you just let it go and life could be easier for both? Well, I'm not trying to put in any comment, I'm not a successful in love, but what I'm trying to say is, just let it go when there's no love. Think wider.

Ever since things had ever happens, I tended to be pull away my love for him. There's no why, or maybe some say not fair towards him, but who can actually understand what I felt deep inside when I walk thru all the shyte all by myself which I had to forgive and forget of everything he did wrong and I have to even force myself of forgiving him which I can't and barely even do so. Gosh, god must be thinking I'm strong enough to go thru all this which I can't.

Can life just go a little brighter?

Back to blogging

Like finally, I'm back with blogging. I've realized that only if I'm in the stage of study only I will blog. Because other than that, there's nothing else better to blog. Just like my ordinary work life for the previous year, my own blog had been aboden by me. And now, I've finally decided not to blog at my own blog as in no longer paying for it but using blogspot in case I've lost my interest of blogging again.

So what has been up this couple of years? I've no idea other than just work.

Just a little short updates, I've placed myself into my dream college, The One Academy after so many years of busy hunting money out there. And things are not as prefect as thought when life is in college. No doubt, I get to meet a couple of good friends. But the course work are killing me deeply inside. Especially drawing and figure, I'm not drawing person and there goes I've been thinking am I really belongs to art or not? Had been questioning myself in this couple of months. After all, I'm still struggling, I'm still fighting over all this till I get to place myself into Multimedia. Which is, another half a year to fight for. And it's a really tough road for me to walk thru, but I'm glad that friends are there for. But after all, friends comes and goes. I'm not pretty sure what happened in between but I would like to apologize if some of you can't take my straight forward attitude and of what I've did make you felt hard feelings. For those who stay, I'm glad. For those who left, I'm glad to had you once and wishing you all the best.

Too much of a big bunch in our groups, with different attitude and behaver. No doubt there's argue in between, but what I though of is, just be straight forward each other are always the best other than just hide and run away. Because that's not exactly what's friends stand for. We should correct them if they are walking to the wrong path. I'm not pretty sure what the others thinks, but seriously, drama never gets away even if you're out of high school. It's just like another drama chapter begun.

With no doubt, I would really thanks the one and only person that always come clear and clean to me, Sook Wen. Thanks you for speaking the wrong side to me and correct me when I'm on the wrong path. Thanks you for being here with me all the time.

About relationship, there's nothing much to talk about. I realized that, maybe, just maybe, I love myself more than anything else in this world. I've come across and think of my previous relationship and current relationship, just maybe that, I don't tend to understand them or just maybe they don't tend to understand or maybe I should say no world in this world understand me enough yet.

Second chances are given out more than enough and time proves that second chances it's not a good choices after all. No matter how many times you forgive, forget, walk back, stay and walk away again, and back turning on the same spot, I guess not only me got tired of relationship like this. Most of the human does.

It's strange isn't it? When you're all alone, you're afraid of the sound of lonely. But when you're in love, you got frustrated of the way of the other half cares, control and also that's what we called LOVE. Human never get enough for being enough. Including myself.

Just maybe, the LOVE he gave is more than enough and let me can't breath over head. And therefore, it's better to leave alone and gaps some fresh air.

I'm sorry if I'm acting like a kids to you. I'm sorry if you think I'm not mature enough for you. I'm sorry for not being what you wanted me to be. But, I'm sorry to say that if I continue loving and acting the way you wanted me to be, I felt sorry to my very ownself. Go ahead saying that I'm selfish, I admit I am. Everyone's is selfish, just they don't dare to admit like how I do. Question yourself.

I spend not more than 1 hours reading back all my old post in this blog, and I realized that I was much more a joyful person before everything clash. Even if drama had been happening during the age of high school and uncountable breaking heart and so on. I'm still a tough and joyful person compare to now. I've no idea what's goes wrong. All I know is, it's not good. I need time to find myself back. The passion, the love, the beat, basically everything. Who am I now, it's like a robot. Human without a soul.

And to you, just maybe 0.01 chances if you come across this old blog of mine, I would like to say, why are you being a crowed after so many years, just maybe we can work things out like a friends or so but not only comes upon when there's advantage. I've seriously no idea why every deep love need to be change into stranger. That's a real waste.

I guess this will be rated as the longer post ever after coming back from blogging. Dooze off. Will update again, when I thought of something fresh.

swtich

DAH CHANGE KE WWW.MISSMUFFYX.COM

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Nine

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Nine

" Mari kita seluruh warganegara ramai-ramai menyambut Hari Merdeka, Merdeka !! "

Last night was crazy fun. I was at The Curve. Even though Natt got wasted and we need more then 3 hunk to carry her into my dad's car. Traffic was so freaking jam. I still had fun. Had dinner at Kim Gary with Kath & Natt.


Roasted Honey Spare Ribs with Shanghai Style Vegetable Rice.


"Fu Yong" Egg with Rice.


Champagne Grape Tri-Colour Blended.


Cheese Baked Rice with Chicken Chop.

Around 9 something meet up with Kai-Loon. Bumped into Kah Ken's gang & Kok How's gang. I kena spray like mad by Kok How's gang. /GG.


All because of you la, Calvin. GEEZ.


Kathleen Tang Zi Hui.


yongkailoon. S2

Chilled at the curbside. Had some fresh made candy floss. Kathleen Tang Zi Hui, I do whine over small things like glow sticks & candy floss ! I do and I really do ! In the end, Kath got me candy floss and Kai-Loon got me glow sticks ! They sayang me banyak banyak kay !


Candy floss baby !


So pwetty right?

I went all the way in front to the stage just for Fish Leong ! The crowd went crazy when she went up to the stage. So damn freaking hard to get into the front. Even though I can get into the front, I can't manage to take pictures. Because, I'm short. But yea, thank god I had my super tall boyfriend beside of me. He's tall enough to help me take pictures of her !













MERDEKA !! * PEEEEEPPPP BOOOM *


Fireworks were awesome !

Kath dan Natt, I'll put sleeping pills inside the water and let you both drink. So that I can sleep. ROFL !

I had an awesome time last night :)

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Eight

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Eight

I wish it was sunny outside and not rainy and oh so cold. That would make me be in a better mood. What I'm feeling right now. Is not capable to be put into words. So I'm not going to bother with trying other then to say I'm sorry. You know who you are and thanks to someone else. Well, people hate me when I haven't done anything, I'm just the one it leads back to when it's dealing with other people. Like I'm the culprit or something? I don't get what people see in me and what they don't see. I don't care what you think of me, because it can't be half as bad as what I think of you

Sure my happiness doesn't last long. Theres always someone there to ruin it. I wish I knew certain things. It would make life so much easier and then I don't like other people getting in my business. Whether they know it or not.


When the sun shines, we’ll shine together

Hmm anyways I'm off to be NERD and study like a mofo now.

PS: This layout is boring me.. it's like, too pink?

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Seven

I pee in the sink- Part-Thirty Seven

Well, how time just passes by ! Before we know it things are going to change, in blink of an eye, it could mean something completely unexpected can happen. But I guess living in the moment is a good settler for now. AT LEAST FOR ME !

On Wednesday I went out with Ivy, Kath & Natt. Watched Rush Hours 3. Second time d la tiao! Had dinner at Sushi King. We walked around and shit. We spent most of the time in Topshop finding girl boxers !

I hate those people think it's okay to say or do whaver they want to you, but if you did it to them in return they'd flip. I won't deal with people like that anymore, maybe we can be friends when you stop indirectly insulting me and aren't full of yourself.

Miss.W, I blog whatever I suka la kay ! Fuck you (:

Its a Sunday. A sunny Sunday and I'm just blaring the radio and cleaning. I hate being grounded. Grr.

Ahhh, I got comments on my previous entry. I feel loved.